A PERFECT ILLUSION

by Elvan Unlu

Apart from these, having perfectionistic tendencies has started to be accepted as a bragging virtue among societies. Moreover, some people who describe themselves as perfectionists mention this with a sense of pride, and some even note having a symmetry obsession alongside perfectionistic tendencies [10], as if these traits reflect a certain distinctiveness or superiority.

Good is No Longer Enough

More than one in four adolescents feels an urge to be “perfect”, in part, due to the popularity of social media platforms and the new social norms they have created [17]. The meaning of “good” has changed to meaning mediocre, and mediocre is no longer acceptable among adolescents.

The constant injection of toxic positivity bias (or imposed positivity) and self-worth seems to have become a rule of thumb for impressing and attracting followers on social media, as if life is all about having good times and only caring about oneself.

Adopting this “perfect” perspective is also associated with new types of crimes, such as online bullying and harassment, over appearances or in-group/out-group identities [9], leaving people missing the “good” old days.

Looking more widely to the psychology literature, high levels of perfectionistic tendencies are generally associated with psychopathological outcomes, being associated with eating disorders [3], impostor syndrome [16], childhood trauma [2][19], experiences of social isolation [5], anxiety [6], obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) [10], burnout [12], psychache [4], and even suicide risk [11]. People with high levels of perfectionistic tendencies are also more likely to experience feelings of being defeated by life or emotional entrapment [1][11]. So, for a psychologist or a psychiatrist, high levels of perfectionism may act as indicator of a wide range of potential outcomes.

The Debate Over Whether Perfectionism is Healthy or Unhealthy

Historically, perfectionism was defined as a unidimensional construct linked to neuroticism and psychopathology. However, more recently, researchers have defined perfectionism as a multidimensional construct with adaptive and maladaptive facets (i.e., normal and neurotic [7], healthy and unhealthy [15], socially prescribed, self-oriented, and other-oriented) [8].

Even though the debate over whether perfectionism is healthy or unhealthy yielded diverse opinions in the early perfectionism literature (asserting it has positive and negative aspects) more recent studies have reported contradictory findings. They have shown that both forms of perfectionistic tendencies (i.e. perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns: two superordinate dimensions of perfectionism comprising all of the previously defined forms of perfectionism) [14] are associated with adverse psychological outcomes, including suicide risk, so that both forms of perfectionism may be pernicious if they are experienced at high levels [13][18].

Do not Mistake Outside Appearances for Internal Realities

Regarding today’s social media influencers and others in the public eye, there are many examples of people who suffer from mental health problems. Some of them even share their personal struggles despite their exciting and “perfect” lives.  A person is much more than a look. Humans are incredibly complex creatures, which makes it very hard to reduce them to mere appearance, and they are so perfectly imperfect as a whole, both inside and out, with their strengths and vulnerabilities, passions and hesitations, kindness and suspicions, beauty marks and scars.

References

[1] Burns, D. D. (1980). The perfectionist’s script for self-defeat. Psychology today14(6), 34-52.

[2] Chen, C., Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (2019). Adverse childhood experiences and multidimensional perfectionism in young adults. Personality and Individual Differences, 146, 53-57. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.03.042

[3] Danielsen, H. E., Finserås, T. R., Andersen, A. I. O., Hjetland, G. J., Woodfin, V., & Skogen, J. C. (2024). Mirror, mirror on my screen: Focus on self-presentation on social media is associated with perfectionism and disordered eating among adolescents. Results from the “Life On So Me”-study. BMC public health, 24(1), 2466. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-024-19317-9

[4] Flamenbaum, R., & Holden, R. R. (2007). Psychache as a mediator in the relationship between perfectionism and suicidality. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 54(1), 51-61. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.54.1.51

[5] Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., & Heisel, M. J. (2014). The Destructiveness of Perfectionism Revisited: Implications for the Assessment of Suicide Risk and the Prevention of Suicide. Review of General Psychology, 18(3), 156-172. https://doi.org/10.1037/gpr0000011 (Original work published 2014)

[6] Gnilka, P. B., Ashby, J. S., & Noble, C. M. (2012). Multidimensional perfectionism and anxiety: Differences among individuals with perfectionism and tests of a coping-mediation model. Journal of Counseling and Development, 90(4), 427-436. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.2012.00054.x

[7] Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Psychodynamics of normal and neurotic perfectionism. Psychology: A Journal of Human Behavior, 15(1), 27–33.

[8] Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(3), 456-470. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456.

[9] Milyane, T. M., Rohimakumullah, M. A. A., & Fariza, M. R. (2025). Exploring adolescents’ understanding of cyberbullying on social media through information mining. The Howard Journal of Communications, 36(4), 473-487. https://doi.org/10.1080/10646175.2025.2537195

[10] Olatunji, B. O., Ebesutani, C., & Tolin, D. F. (2018). A Bifactor Model of Obsessive Beliefs: Specificity in the Prediction of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Symptoms. Psychological Assessment. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pas0000660

[11] O’Connor, R. C., & Kirtley, O. J. (2018). The integrated motivational-volitional model of suicidal behaviour. Philosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B, Biological sciences, 373(1754), 20170268. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2017.0268

[12] Ozbilir, T., Day, A., & Catano, V. M. (2014). Perfectionism at Work: An Investigation of Adaptive and Maladaptive Perfectionism in the Workplace among Canadian and Turkish Employees. Applied Psychology, 64(1), 252–280. Portico. https://doi.org/10.1111/apps.12032

[13] Smith, M. M., Sherry, S. B., Chen, S., Saklofske, D. H., Mushquash, C., Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2018). The perniciousness of perfectionism: A meta-analytic review of the perfectionism-suicide relationship. Journal of personality, 86(3), 522–542. https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12333

[14] Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive Conceptions of Perfectionism: Approaches, Evidence, Challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295–319. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr1004_2.

[15] Stumpf, H., & Parker, W. D. (2000). A hierarchical structural analysis of perfectionism and its relation to other personality characteristics. Personality and Individual Differences, 28(5), 837-852. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(99)00141-5

[16] Thomas, M., & Bigatti, S. (2020). Perfectionism, impostor phenomenon, and mental health in medicine: A literature review. International Journal of Medical Education, 11, 201-213. https://doi.org/10.5116/ijme.5f54.c8f8

[17] Vanhoffelen, G., Gonzalez, A., Schreurs, L., Giraudeau, C., & Vandenbosch, L. (2025). The perfect li(f)e: A longitudinal study on positive social media content and European adolescents’ perfectionism. Communication Research, https://doi.org/10.1177/00936502251337650

[18] Zeifman, R. J., Antony, M. M., & Kuo, J. R. (2020). When being imperfect just won’t do: Exploring the relationship between perfectionism, emotion dysregulation, and suicidal ideation. Personality and Individual Differences, 152, Article 109612. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.109612

[19] Zortea, T. C., Gray, C. M., & O’Connor, R. C. (2020). Perceptions of past parenting and adult attachment as vulnerability factors for suicidal ideation in the context of the integrated Motivational–Volitional model of suicidal behavior. Suicide & Life-Threatening Behavior, 50(2), 515-533. https://doi.org/10.1111/sltb.12606