“all the therapists I talked to in the past told me to “man up”, “grow some”, downplayed my issues (“That can’t be a problem for such a big boy!”) or made fun of me. I consider the profession of psychotherapy to be broken.”
Austrian man with thoughts of suicide in the past week, who has made 2 lifetime suicide attempts.
Men account for most global suicides. While many factors contribute to men’s increased risk, one key area of concern is men’s help-seeking behaviours and experiences.
Getting the right help at the right time can be vital.
Effective interventions can help prevent mental health problems from intensifying and provide a person with the tools and support to navigate challenges.
Men have traditionally been seen as poor or reluctant help-seekers compared to women. However, emerging evidence suggests that many men who are suicidal are seeking help but finding the help ineffective.
“I have tried this nonsense in the past for the best part of a decade and none of it does anything for me. The problem is not with me, it is the so-called “support” offered and how shit it is.” British man with thoughts of suicide in the past week.
Understanding the barriers men face when accessing support is key to creating effective interventions that could help lower suicide rates. We wanted to explore these barriers more deeply.
Our study gathered insights from 725 men around the world who have been suicidal in the past week or year, exploring the barriers to professional support they experience.
Key Barriers to Help-Seeking
The biggest barrier in our study was financial. The expense of professional support made it unaffordable for one-fifth of participants.
“In my country, this kind of help is hard to get, a good one even harder, and if you have no money, slashing your artery is a cheap and effective solution” Brazilian man who has attempted suicide, and had thoughts of suicide in the last week.
Negative past experiences seeking help was the second most common issue. The types of bad experiences varied: from finding interventions ineffective, to feeling ignored or belittled by staff. Some men suggested therapy provided temporary relief, which faded over the long term.
Other men felt interventions had only intensified their suicidal thoughts. Some men didn’t see the point in talking about their problems, especially if they felt their challenges were due to practical issues like money or unchangeable things like their appearance.
“… In my case, you can take all the pills you want, talk for as long as you want, but ultimately, it’s all a pointless exercise that doesn’t alleviate the financial yoke constantly tied to your neck. It’s band-aid on a gunshot wound.”
British man with thoughts of suicide in the past week.
Some men saw their pain as a natural response to life’s difficulties, while other men felt their problems were simply too big to fix.
Some men felt that professionals might be more interested in making money than truly caring for people. Other men worried that professionals would not really understand or empathise with their unique experiences as men.
Some men talked about feeling uncomfortable, scared, embarrassed, or ashamed when it came to expressing their feelings. They mentioned having trouble knowing how to open up, whether in general or to a stranger or professional.
A few men were also concerned that facing their emotional pain might be too overwhelming for them to handle.
“I don’t like talking and it makes the pain so much worse so i rather bottle it up since
that makes me feel a bit better” A Swedish man who has attempted suicide and had thoughts of suicide in the past week.
Masculine norms and help-seeking
Our findings suggest cultural norms of masculinity may contribute to some of the barriers men who are suicidal face in seeking professional support.
For example:
- Gender biases may influence how men are treated by professionals.
- Masculine norms of self-reliance and control may mean some men prefer to handle their issues alone and mistrust professionals.
- Fears about being medicated, hospitalised, or negatively impacting future job and romantic opportunities may deter men conditioned to be in control and successful.
- Norms of male provision and protection may mean some men struggle to conceive of themselves as people who also need care and support
- Some men may struggle with expressing emotions due to societal pressure to suppress them. As such, therapies that focus on discussing emotional challenges may not appeal to men taught to deny their feelings.
Tailored support for men
Every man is unique. Because of this diversity, what’s true for one man – like the belief that seeking help is a sign of weakness – might not be true for another man who wants support but can’t access it.
At the same time, to better support men who are feeling suicidal, we need to improve mental health services so they are more accessible, affordable, and tailored to men’s needs. From our study we make the following recommendations:
- Offer varied types of help – not just therapy or medication -but also community support, peer groups, and psychoeducation opportunities.
- Develop digital tools (online programs, apps, websites) for quick, private access to support, especially for men anxious about traditional services.
- Train professionals to understand male suicide risk, reduce stigma, and build trust.
- Create flexible interventions that meet men where they are i.e., short-term support to help men cope self-reliantly alongside efforts to normalise male interdependence.
- Celebrate masculine strengths while challenging harmful norms and help men to support without shame.
Our study reveals the complex barriers many men face when seeking professional support. Simplistic labels of men as ‘reluctant help-seekers’ obscure this reality and block progress toward effective, accessible, and tailored care for men in crisis.
You can read our full findings here: https://malesuicideresearch.com/resources/
Suicidal Behaviour Research Laboratory 